Some people are easier to work with than others. Maybe you have a co-worker or client who can be blunt, unafraid to say what they mean. Or perhaps they’re highly vocal, often interrupting others to get their point across. Interacting with people who come across as inconsiderate or disrespectful can be stressful to say the least — especially if you tend to be on the quiet side yourself.
Leadership expert Ben Brearley says dealing with strong personalities can be unpleasant, but we should learn to work with all personality types — even difficult ones. How can you work with strong personalities without losing your cool? Read on. In this issue of PromoPro Daily, we highlight some of Brearley’s suggestions.
1. Don’t go head-to-head with strong personalities. Thoughtful leaders typically aren’t forceful by nature, Brearley says. If they try to go toe-to-toe with a more aggressive person, they may overcompensate and go overboard. Also, Brearley says the other person is probably going to be better at direct confrontation. They’ve lived their life as a dominant, forceful presence, he says. While you shouldn’t confront them, you also shouldn’t let them steamroll over you. Which leads to the next point …
2. Be prepared. When you know you have to deal with a difficult personality, prepare yourself. Visualize yourself in the situation and think about how you can respond calmly when they show aggression. Brearley says this simple action can help you feel like you’ve been there before, and you’ll be more likely to respond better in the moment.
3. Know the other person’s motivations. People with forceful personalities don’t always want to make other people mad. They may just be insecure or need to dominate to protect their ego. You can use their motivation to your advantage. If you know they want to achieve a specific goal, Brearley says you can show them how working with you can help them accomplish that goal. When you keep in mind the other person’s motivations, it makes it easier to not take things so personally.
4. Adapt your approach. You don’t need to appease strong personalities, but you can do some things to make the interactions easier. For example, you could get to the point when dealing with these people. You could also lay out the facts rather than lead with emotion. Brearley says people with strong personalities often have a strong desire to achieve, so if you can give them a role to play, their natural drive may be helpful.
5. Stand your ground. Know what you stand for and what you don’t. People with difficult personalities may not know they’re crossing boundaries, so bring it to their attention. For example, if someone raises their voice at you, you could say, “I noticed you got angry about that. What bothers you?” Also, know that you don’t need to stick around if you’re treated poorly, Brearley says.
It’s challenging but not impossible to work with difficult personalities. Prepare yourself for these interactions and remember not to take anything personally.
Compiled by Audrey Sellers
Source: Ben Brearley, MBA is a leader, manager, coach and creator of Thoughtful Leader, a coaching, training and consulting business that helps leaders overcome their challenges to create better workplaces.
